X S E X


EX SEX by Gregory Purvis
April 19, 2010, 4:34 pm
Filed under: I'll Show You Mine | Tags: ,

So here’s what’s been happening: First off, I moved from a van down by the river up to a woodsy abode on bee-you-tee-full Lookout Mountain. Unfortunately, as is often the case when relocating in the Digital Age, there’s about a million new “connections” you have to make, utilities-wise. My personal (and non-sexual) goal(s) for the next coupla years include re-formating all of my utilities that keep me connected to the Grid aka The Matrix, i.e. “The Man”. Basically, and I don’t mean to be too homoerotic, but living on the Grid is basically like being connected to the Man in a awkward and probably painful anal position, now isn’t it? Which–if I were gay–would prolly be totally fine. But being more interested in connecting to Mother Earth than The Man (put THAT in your pipe and make The Man smoke it), both figuratively and sexually, I can’t in good consciousness stay bent over for the anal pleasure of The Man.

Now, I know that this is WAY over my daily limit for gay jokes, even couched in dirty hippie humor, so before someone begins throwing accusations, let’s just agree that regardless of your orientation, “The Man” is NOT a desireable or particularly loving sexual partner for anyone. So my goals are to figure some way to trade in my Honda for a diesel that I can slap a kit on and start using KFC grease for more than coating the insides of my arteries; to get OFF any hardline connections to the Internet and brain-sapping TV (partially accomplished already); and (last but not least, though certainly most expensive) I wanna find a way to be more responsible with my water and electricity consumption–and get off the TVA power-tit as soon as possible). Having said all this, the only really important part of this diatribe is, I haven’t had any Internet access for 3 weeks…so, with Jane being on vacation (which is code for enjoying hott lesbian action is The Sunshine State), I haven’t had much to say on XSEX…and no way to say it regardless.

Until today. So here goes, ya freaks:

THE GEEK MASTURBATES

“XSEX” was chosen (as a name) for a LOT of reasons. First off, we are the first to use the names “XSEX”, “SEXXX” and “XSEXX” online, for ANY purpose. The genesis of this idea goes back to the BBS days which is pre-World Wide Web, so don’t bother to tell me how your fave porn site used the name(s) first. NO THEY DID NOT. But, you snooze you lose. I overslept, and porn sites snapped up my naming schemes for their own perverse (but much more nefarious) purposes. You see, XSEX (meaning this blog) was originally TWO distinct ideas: 1. SEXXX (as a BBS, then as a proposed .com site and a webring connected to the WIRED.INformation Architecture) was gonna be an online magazine. 2. XSEXX was to be a blog mostly dedicated to geeksex and cosplay and the like. I overslept and two of those names were nabbed, and the dot com crash had already put paid to the WIRED.IN idea. If you care, WIRED.IN was basically the concept of a webring before anyone called it that, and the first one was a connection of my own start-up’s and those of my friends. Some of the names you might recognize, some are totally obscure.

And I wound up living in a van down by the river instead of getting invited to parties at The Playboy Mansion. Yeah, well…since I KNOW many of you are sobbing at my dot com misfortunes, wipe yourself off and read on (or not)…

So XSEX THEN became a blog to discuss my sexual success stories, failures, and my ultimate semi-self-imposed celibacy. It was a way to talk about my frustrations. It was about being “ex-sexual”…which was how I looked at it at the time. Then I heard from my ex-wife. And then I begin having a VERY complicated cyberrelationship with a charming young lady named Jane who responded (quite harshly) to a blog post entitled “Why Bi-sexuality is Bullshit”. She (ahem) showed me the error of my thinking in a MOST pleasant way, and to say more would violate a promise so I shan’t…yet.

So XSEX became a blog about sex with my ex(es), celibacy, Xrated lifestyles, and Gen-X sexuality. Which is what I’m TRYING to do today. and I admit…I have had some problems. But be patient. I’m trying.

So since I’m back in the saddle (yes) I shal commit sexual treason and talk next of my Ex. You’ve seen her picture, after all, and many of you have written to ask about how I could “give that up”…so I shall tell you the sad story.

We’re back. And hopefully we won’t suck as bad.

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