X S E X


Why is my boyfriend a little whiny bitch? by khemistry

3JANE’s ONGOING COLUMN AKA 3JANE’s GUIDE TO GUYS

How many boyfriends do I have to chew up and spit out before I get one who’s not a whiny little wussy? Jeesh! I’m starting to see why so many of my friends describe themselves as bi-sexual. When I was a younger, moodier bitch I thought testosterone was kinda like Kryptonite. I mean, I know a tranny in Atlanta named Ramonda (NOTE: actually, her name is Ronda but she goes by Ramon even though she’s a red-headed Irish girl, and just F.Y.I. she’s TOTALLY obsessed with Ricky Martin and Menudo in general, but she’d like to do him as a GUY, and nobody’s really sure exactly what team Ricky plays for, so I’m not sure where that puts Ronda’s chances for realizing her dream. Anyway, I call her/him Ramonda Martin)…and lemme tell ya, Rayray is, like, a T-stone junkie. It does REALLY gross stuff to her, and pretty soon I guess she really will be for all intents and purposes a he. I looked up T-stone in this HUGE book doctors use to write out prescriptions called the PDR. I did this with the intent of showing Ramonda aka Rayray that T-stone is (as I said) kryptonite on your delicate, flowery wimmin parts.

But Rayray? He didn’t care! That stuff is a CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE! Like those REALLY good diet pills my mom used to get that gave her housecleaning superpowers…T-stone is like that kind of speed, or Oxycontin (without the date rape potential or the tendency to puke all over the place). Now, personally I think that’s sexist. I mean, FEMALE hormones aren’t controlled substances! You can practically get them out of gumball machines, and they do all kinds of damage to our delicate little flowers petals. Anyway, I’m slippin’ away here, so its time to reel myself back in or I’ll be jabberin about a hundred different things and I’ll have to sign this post “Gregory Purvis” (sorry, G, but you are one wordy dude).

So, like, I used to figure that T-stone was the shit that made a guy a GUY. So if thats true, does this mean all the guys in my life need a booster shot?? I betcha John Wayne never needed T-stone. Or Gary Cooper, Charlton Heston or any of “the classics”. I bet even Rock Hudson never needed any, and I hear he had a real gentle and loving nature and was fond of spooning. And you KNOW Elvis never needed topping up…even the fat, ‘nanna-n-peanut butter sandwich Elvis, the one that was fond of white leisure suits and rhinestones.

So why do MY MEN need the stuff? Cause they cry at the drop of a hankie, and I’m just so SICK of all this sensitive male stuff. WHAT HAVE WE DONE? We’ve demasculated our menfolk!!! Now all my last two boy toys want to do is to ask me about my day and they don’t even put up half a fight when I suggest we go see a romantic comedy. AND I HATE ROMANTIC COMEDIES!!!

I caught my latest crying last night over a TV SHOW!!! What is happening?!? DUDES WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS?

Somebody please help. I ‘m actually crying, now! This sucks!

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4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

haha great post, couldn’t agree more, a lot guys really need to grow a pair

Comment by mrkillian

Dear mrkillian: Thanks for your comment! (https://xsex.wordpress.com “Why is my boyfriend a little whiny bitch?”)…hope you continue to read!!!
Greg and Jane
XSEX Blog

Comment by Gregory Purvis

Maybe you’re just a manly ass dike ? or maybe you want to wear a 9inch strap on and do a guy in the butt ? see you should be playing the man roles sista or should I say brotha ? or what your bitch boys will call you? “big daddy it hurts but i want more” is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush? Go up http://www.mysissyboyfriend.com I bet you will cum QUICKLY big papa smurth

Comment by derek baarson

LIKE

Comment by dariene




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