What to say when something really IS ‘Gay’ by khemistry
December 8, 2012, 12:54 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Okay so I’ve seen the political infomercials or whatever they are properly to be called by Wanda Sykes-Hall (hope that’s right but I don’t have a pretentious-y hyphenated name so if it’s not eat me) and others about why saying something is “gay” is NOT COOL. Okay. I gotcha, sister. I like Wanda’s comedy, and in theory I agree with what she’s trying to say. But that’s really gay. I mean, come ON. That is gay Wanda and you KNOW IT IS.

The real deal is this: why is ANYBODY concerned with what I stick into my vagina or what my brother sticks his (probably microscopic) penis into? Gay, straight, Martian, horse fucker, or my friend Rajneesh who seriously jacked off into a can of Crisco. He now tells everyone it was performance art. Well, Raj, unless your name is Genesis P. Orridge you were not doing performance art you were masturbating into a (hopefully willing and appropriately-aged) can of Crisco. Which, I think we can all agree, is gay.

Which is my point. QUIT TAKING AWAY BITS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND SAYING “SORRY THIS IS NOW OWNED EXCLUSIVELY BY MEN WHO LOVE BUTTER” or WHATEVER. I LIKE saying GAY. I mean no harm by it. I like homosexuals, and I don’t mean in the same way that I say “I like black people”….in other words, just to appear a certain way when the truth is I only know four black people and two of them are assholes, the third is an ex and the fourth is my best girlfriend. Who is gay. And THAT is REALLY gay. Like, for realsies.

So get the corndog out cho ass and pull yer little dingus out of the crisco. Cause thats really just gay.


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