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Lawyers and Nazis by Gregory Purvis
March 24, 2014, 8:38 pm
Filed under: Let's Play Dress-up! | Tags: , , ,

220px-Alfred_Jodl_USA-E-Ardennes-2Megacon in Orlando was this past weekend, and it’s been all over the local media. I recall the good old days when us geeks were left to moulder in the corner with the goths (who in my opinion are all hypocritical dicks, because they bitch about how alone and hated they are by the popular kids, but they are just as exclusive and unfriendly to others as the aforementioned “in-crowd”). WHAT HAPPENED? All of a sudden everyone thinks its cool to play D&D and read comic books. Not only was every news station and radio station running live feeds or stories about the Con, but the prices had gone sky-high. So I stayed home, by my cantankerous old-man self.

I was thinking of old friends (being alone), and I remembered something an old girl friend of mine told me about dating a lawyer in the small town where we went to high school. This guy used to brag to the local legal community how he was so much superior because he had gone to Harvard Law School. Wow. I’m so impressed. This basically just means he comes from money (don’t argue; he didn’t “earn his way in by his grades”, this isn’t ‘Good Will Hunting’, just shut up–he’s a rich boy asshole, okay?), and that doesn’t impress me. My family came from money, too. They spent it all and I don’t have shit. So Hahvaad doesn’t mean much to me. Apparently she was fascinated with him, though. Probably because he WAS intelligent, and so is she. We were all kind of a mix of geeks, heavy-metalheads, and punks (in a town of 14,000 or so), so I suppose it was only natural for her to look for someone with more to talk about than pot and the new Butthole Surfers record.

But, being our friend, she let us know after the relationship soured what a true freak lawyers are. Apparently his thang was to dress in an (apparently authentic) SS officers uniform. Now, being a punk/electronic thrash/weirdo raised in the 80’s, I went through a stage where a friend of mine and me shaved our heads and wore white-shirts with our Kool 100’s rolled up in the sleeves and Doc Martins. We were skin heads for a week or three–but not the Nazi variety. Just the “no hair” variety. I’m giving this lawyer the benefit of the doubt, and assuming the uniform was just his “dress-up rebellion” uniform. Well, actually, it was his sexual uniform, according to my friend.

I think I’ve written about this before, not that I’m typing but I don’t care because I hate lawyers and the legal system in general. And who knows? Maybe he watched films of Hitler making speeches in Nuremberg like Klaus Kinski in that freaky movie ‘Crawlspace’ and jacked off.

Whether he did or didn’t, I’m wondering how far dress-up sexual games are cool to get into..? I mean, is it REALLY just cosplay if you are a mixed-racial couple and you secretly play “slave in the Big House”? Or you are a lawyer who has an authentic black SS uniform and you are playing “Himmler’s Ho”?
What is crossing the line?
Ah, he was a Nazi anyway. He had a law degree.

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